Tumblr is the magical happy land of the internet. Why? Because it seriously rocks. It is like a supergeek has combined smoking, coffee, cocaine and a casino all into a blogging platform.

But. Yesterday I was away from the web for 24 hours. When I plugged back into the matrix, I was forced to read 64 pages of updates in my dashboard. This morning when I woke up, I had to go through another 30 pages in my dashboard. How could I be put into a situation where I had no option but to consume so much excellent media? I was following 146 creative people who were smart, hilarious, internationally minded and good looking. Was. Just now I have cut 70 of you and another 25 are soon to be dumped.

Before (Full Strength Tumblr)




After (Diet Tumblr)

So this an apology to all of you who I’m no longer following.

Sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. Honest.

Frankly, I was pretty slutty when it came to following people. If something you posted made me laugh or think then you were now my Tumblr Follower Forever (TFF) because you had demonstrated yourself as cool. And you were. Not to mention very attractive and of supreme intelligence. If you reblogged something which one of my existing followers posted then I’d add you because we obviously must be on the same wave length to like the same things on Tumblr so one day together maybe we could solve all the world’s problems while also laughing at Julia Allison.

Things were going along so great and it seemed like such a good thing, at the time. But it got too much for me. I wasn’t ready for the type of commitment required to be your follower. It wasn’t that you posted too much or too little, were not funnier enough or were too funny. I just had to cut a lot of people and one of them was you. There’s not much more I can say. I feel so bad because this is exactly like breaking up with a girlfriend. Well I’m sure it would feel the same if that was something I ever had the balls to do. My point is, I feel terrible. Even though I’m sure someone new will come along to follow you any day now, it still feels like we’re both losing something special. At least we’ll have the archives. Do you remember that time I reblogged a video you embedded or the time you wrote LOL after a quote I posted? Good times.

If you were following me only because I started following you and now you’ve noticed me not following you, please don’t feel like I used you just to get a follower. But if you do think that, make it a clean break by removing my disturbing maniacal laughing picture from your following list. I won’t mind.

Even though we can’t be followers, can we still be friends?

Always in tumble love,
Anthony